The parallel of the pants

I apologize in advance for my scattered thought process. Just go with it.
So after I went to class today I spent several hours hanging out with my first (and if I'm going to be completely honest, the only) guy I've loved. We've both moved on now, but remain really close friends. Now he's going to be marrying a really sweet girl next summer and I'm glad he's found someone who makes him happy. Now he's always talking to me about how he wants me in his life forever and we'll always be friends and someday we'll take our families on camping trips together.
Here's the thing, and this surprises me probably more than anyone, I really and truly am happy for him, and I am getting used to hanging out with him and his girlfriend. It doesn't bother me to be around them anymore than it does to hang out with anyone else who is being mushy, which has always bothered me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes things change more than we ever think is possible. If you would have told me even a year ago that I would be going and doing baptisms and just hanging out with him and the woman he wants to marry, I would have told you that I would sooner eat a whole packet of staples and wash it down with a gallon of lemon juice. It wasn't going to happen. And yet here I am perfectly happy after doing just that. I still care about him, but we just weren't supposed to end up together, and that's okay. There is someone out there who I am supposed to end up with. I know it. Right now, even though I don't think I've ever met him, I miss him. I will admit that I am lonely, of course I am. But I would much rather be lonely, than be going through the pain of trying to force something to fit that was never supposed to.
Here's where the pants come in. I think finding love can be compared to finding a perfect pair of pants. For some girls this is not hard at all. Some girls can walk into a store, and after eliminating all the ones that are the wrong size, or in other words just totally wrong for her, she can grab any style and it will work. Jolly good for her. Some girls just luck out and happen upon the perfect pair right after starting to shop. Cheers to them. Then there are us girls who spend a very long amount of time and ridiculous amounts of energy and resources trying to find a pair that are comfortable and make you feel good about yourself and that you just want to wear everyday. During this search it is very hard to talk yourself out of getting pants that almost fit. Maybe they're just a little snug around the waist. Maybe they're a little roomier than you'd prefer, but after all this shopping you just decide, screw it, the perfect ones don't exist, I'll just get these ones.
But you just can't ever be completely happy wearing these pants. They are not comfortable, and the longer you wear them, the more they dig into you, or refuse to flatter you. Pretty soon you begin to resent the pants. It's their fault they aren't what you want them to be! But it was never completely the pants fault. Ya, maybe if they were a little more flexible it would be easier, but you knew what they were when you bought them.
I don't want to settle for uncomfortable pants. Even though I'm lonely, and I would really love nothing more than to feel loved, it's just not worth it to me. So I will keep trying on pants, trying to find a pair that are everything I need, and maybe even several things I want.
And I will keep doing so until something changes. Because I know now that things can and will change.

I can feel it.